the time travelers wife

go read/watch it!

the twist in you

IM SOOOOO FUCKING BORED WITH LIFE.
yep. maybe a tad dramatic, and swearing was perhaps unnecessary. but god.
i cant believe some people finished their exams like 3 weeks ago, and i still have 2 to go. it really is shithouse, i dont really give a shit about them, my motivation only lasted like 2 days and poof! it was gone. yet i still am gona feel like shit if i do bad tomorrow, yet i still am writing a blog instead of an essay. go figure. i miss my long hair, i want to skip the next two days. (except for dormsy's bday) i want it to be 2010 already. so i can actually feel like im productively living. i want to get healthy! it seems to be the cool thing to do, but i need to start feeling good about myself. i feel im all agro lately. maybe its exams maybe its not. i duno. i just want to DO something, butttttt! im going to wait a few weeks before i start getting serious about it. because ive got to celebrate mads's 18th, the ending of school and then there's fiji and theres no way im not gona want to eat bad shit in fiji. but when i return im going to sign back up to the gym i think. ANYONE WHO READS THIS, hold me to that! i tend to live in denial when i dont want to do things, so i need people to bring me to reality and remind me that i want to do it and its not that hard.
to end this on a not-so-serious note, here are some oldie pics from fiji 2006.

a million little pieces

WELL. i finished this book last night, stayed up until 3:30. got teary at the end and felt really affected. soooo. today i thought i might do some research on this guy seeing as it was a 'memoir' and supposedly a true story. only to find that.. yep.. he actually lied and most of it is not true haha :( it was still really good. but i just wish i hadnt got so like attached to the peeps i thought were real .

stolen idea.

i know ceri said she was gona put her graffiti on her blog, so i got in before her and did it. but hey, it was a good idea.
SO this is the thing i see as i get outside my house each day. and i think of juddly and stefan and it actually always makes me smile when i see it. like, when i drove into my letterbox i remember getting out of the car and looking at that, and well,. i didnt smile, but on the inside i thought "if mum kills me right now, and this is the last image i see, im pretty happy. BUT FML GOD IM AN IDIOT.' i love you juddd! and stefan!! :)

FUCK!

i just dropped like my favourite necklace thing down the bathroom sink! .. ARGH. it was like my one thing that was sentimental to me. i hate it when shit like this happens. it looked exactly like the right side of the picture to the left. and the words meant 'divided but always united.' waaaaaaa! i want it back!

while im on the topic,

of books, here is one of my favourite paragraphs from one of my favourite books;

"Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair im sitting on. It was built and so it will fall apart. I'm going to fall apart, probably before this chair. And you're going to fall apart. the cells and organs that make you you - they came together, grew together and so must fall apart. We are all going i thought, and it applies to turtles and turtlenecks, Alaska the place and Alaska the girl , because nothing can last, not even the earth itself. The Buddha said that suffering was caused by desire and that the cessation of desire would means the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did. Someday no one will remember that she even existed, or that i did. Because memories fall apart too and then we are left with nothing, left not even with a ghost"

i have a thing...

...for drug books atm. hahah. the idea of a drug habit is like kind of romantic to me. thats reaaaally weird i know. and some people might read this and think thats sick. but im not saying its appealing to me, to become a drug addict. but there's something poetic about feeling you need something so much to live, even if you know its going to kill you? if that makes sense. im not trying to be deep or cryptic. it makes heaps of sense in my head, but i also realize that it probably seems poetic to me because the two recent books ive read, well the most recent one and the one im currently reading, are as much as they are disturbing and tragic, really intrigueing. the drug addicts seem to be some kind of different human, not higher or lower, just on a different level of need. duno where im going with this, its not even what i wanted to be bloggin about mon. slappa da bass mon. yes, what i wanted to blog about was actuaaaally, me being anti-social at random times. it annoys me but ive got a theory about it :) its probs a theory thats already been discovered it. but this is my observation; children who are are smothered or not even smothered, but just kind of always around people, parents mostly; will crave time alone. and the other way around; children who are left alone too much or parents are kind of absense will crave company. ok now that i type it out. this seems kind of obvious. moral of the story- i think my upbringing of always being around my mum and kind of never having time alone, has made me really need to be alone sometimes. or maybe im just like every other normal person who needs to be with their own thoughts sometimes. i duno, sometimes it seems more than that. and im sorry to my friends who think i just dont want to hang out with them, its not that, i love hanging out with you guys, but sometimes i love being alone more hahah. and then the next day i cant stand being alone. i dont get myself. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. cue emo muzak. these are the two junkie books i refer to: