hello 2010,

you've got alot to live upto, 2009 was a blast :)

catching up

its weird how you dont talk to someone for a long time, and when you do, its not 'catching up' its pretty much getting to know them all over again. how sad. this train of thought has been brought up by the recent adding of an old friend on facebook. my friend from primary school, i like loved her and was so sad when she moved away. and i always wanted to get back in contact with her but didnt and yeah she added me today and i was like WOAH. and now im chatting with her over the I.M and its weird, kind of awkward but not. like we should know eachother but we dont. am i thinking too deeply into this? yep. whats new! wheres your gavel? your jury? whats my offense this time? sorrrrrrrrrryyy. im listening to paramore and im pretty pumped. ily paramore. HA. but seriously. no one is as lucky as us. MERRY CHRISTMASSSSSS TO EVERYONE :) xxxxxx

where the wild things are

i need

a new good book to readdddd, i keep reading my faves all over again, and its unhealthy hahah. i should let go of the past. while im in the blog mood, i may aswell state a few facts: school is officially over, had grad and all, and tomorrow everyone will get their exam results. some people seem excited which kind of makes me want to throw up lol, no actually thats wrong, they probably worked really really hard and their future probably depends on them and they deserve to be happy and excited about them. I, on the other hand, am dreading that shit. probably because i didnt try really really hard and my future doesnt depend on them, i'd rather not look at them at all, i dont want to be asked how i did for the next 2 weeks by everyone i know. its just going to disappoint them and make me feel the need to explain myself. which i dont want to dooo, does this seem like im really stressing and emo about this all? cause im not, really, im just finding something to whinge about cause i love to whinge. im really excited for christmas! weirdly enough, im excited for the whole family thing :). its elynors birthday this sunday, 18888, eighteen, 1818. i hope she has a blast, i really do. as jealous and depressed i am about it, she's been waiting a while too. little el's going to be all grown up . im hungry. xxxxx

fiji 09

love

"You want us to be there tomorrow?" Santangelo says to me quietly.
I nod.
"Done."
I feel tears running down my face and Raffy takes my hand and squeezes it .
"What are you so sad about?" Santangelo says to me. "We're going to know him for the rest of our lives."

the time travelers wife

go read/watch it!

the twist in you

IM SOOOOO FUCKING BORED WITH LIFE.
yep. maybe a tad dramatic, and swearing was perhaps unnecessary. but god.
i cant believe some people finished their exams like 3 weeks ago, and i still have 2 to go. it really is shithouse, i dont really give a shit about them, my motivation only lasted like 2 days and poof! it was gone. yet i still am gona feel like shit if i do bad tomorrow, yet i still am writing a blog instead of an essay. go figure. i miss my long hair, i want to skip the next two days. (except for dormsy's bday) i want it to be 2010 already. so i can actually feel like im productively living. i want to get healthy! it seems to be the cool thing to do, but i need to start feeling good about myself. i feel im all agro lately. maybe its exams maybe its not. i duno. i just want to DO something, butttttt! im going to wait a few weeks before i start getting serious about it. because ive got to celebrate mads's 18th, the ending of school and then there's fiji and theres no way im not gona want to eat bad shit in fiji. but when i return im going to sign back up to the gym i think. ANYONE WHO READS THIS, hold me to that! i tend to live in denial when i dont want to do things, so i need people to bring me to reality and remind me that i want to do it and its not that hard.
to end this on a not-so-serious note, here are some oldie pics from fiji 2006.

a million little pieces

WELL. i finished this book last night, stayed up until 3:30. got teary at the end and felt really affected. soooo. today i thought i might do some research on this guy seeing as it was a 'memoir' and supposedly a true story. only to find that.. yep.. he actually lied and most of it is not true haha :( it was still really good. but i just wish i hadnt got so like attached to the peeps i thought were real .

stolen idea.

i know ceri said she was gona put her graffiti on her blog, so i got in before her and did it. but hey, it was a good idea.
SO this is the thing i see as i get outside my house each day. and i think of juddly and stefan and it actually always makes me smile when i see it. like, when i drove into my letterbox i remember getting out of the car and looking at that, and well,. i didnt smile, but on the inside i thought "if mum kills me right now, and this is the last image i see, im pretty happy. BUT FML GOD IM AN IDIOT.' i love you juddd! and stefan!! :)

FUCK!

i just dropped like my favourite necklace thing down the bathroom sink! .. ARGH. it was like my one thing that was sentimental to me. i hate it when shit like this happens. it looked exactly like the right side of the picture to the left. and the words meant 'divided but always united.' waaaaaaa! i want it back!

while im on the topic,

of books, here is one of my favourite paragraphs from one of my favourite books;

"Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair im sitting on. It was built and so it will fall apart. I'm going to fall apart, probably before this chair. And you're going to fall apart. the cells and organs that make you you - they came together, grew together and so must fall apart. We are all going i thought, and it applies to turtles and turtlenecks, Alaska the place and Alaska the girl , because nothing can last, not even the earth itself. The Buddha said that suffering was caused by desire and that the cessation of desire would means the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did. Someday no one will remember that she even existed, or that i did. Because memories fall apart too and then we are left with nothing, left not even with a ghost"

i have a thing...

...for drug books atm. hahah. the idea of a drug habit is like kind of romantic to me. thats reaaaally weird i know. and some people might read this and think thats sick. but im not saying its appealing to me, to become a drug addict. but there's something poetic about feeling you need something so much to live, even if you know its going to kill you? if that makes sense. im not trying to be deep or cryptic. it makes heaps of sense in my head, but i also realize that it probably seems poetic to me because the two recent books ive read, well the most recent one and the one im currently reading, are as much as they are disturbing and tragic, really intrigueing. the drug addicts seem to be some kind of different human, not higher or lower, just on a different level of need. duno where im going with this, its not even what i wanted to be bloggin about mon. slappa da bass mon. yes, what i wanted to blog about was actuaaaally, me being anti-social at random times. it annoys me but ive got a theory about it :) its probs a theory thats already been discovered it. but this is my observation; children who are are smothered or not even smothered, but just kind of always around people, parents mostly; will crave time alone. and the other way around; children who are left alone too much or parents are kind of absense will crave company. ok now that i type it out. this seems kind of obvious. moral of the story- i think my upbringing of always being around my mum and kind of never having time alone, has made me really need to be alone sometimes. or maybe im just like every other normal person who needs to be with their own thoughts sometimes. i duno, sometimes it seems more than that. and im sorry to my friends who think i just dont want to hang out with them, its not that, i love hanging out with you guys, but sometimes i love being alone more hahah. and then the next day i cant stand being alone. i dont get myself. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. cue emo muzak. these are the two junkie books i refer to:

erection problems.

god i really hate that ad with the guys playing piano with their penises. its the gayest thing on tv, besides the 'text soulmate to 234000 to find out who'll you'll be with forever!'. omg and its on again right now, 'will you teach me to play like that again?' god.
anyway, this blog is in response to ceris blog. my version of the events that followed..
so yes, ceri and mady and i went and saw 'this is it' last night, it was pretty good. not bad. M.J got me and cez singing away tapping our feet. cant really say that for the rest of the audience who's faces were like this: ':' haha and mady; 'MADDI SHUT UP.' sorry mad, just was feeling the beats like nobodies business. oh shit the washing machine has finished, brb peeps whilst i got put the clothes on the line even though i politely asked ceri to do it for me, she said no.. what a bitch.

maddi says (12:36)
when the washing machine stops canu please hang them out on the clothes line? kthxbye
ol cezz says (12:36 PM):
can i put some sick beats on?
ol cezz says (12:37 PM):
dr phil is shithouse
maddi says (12:37 PM):
no
and that is final
ol cezz says (12:37 PM):
HAHAH NO WAY

this is happening as she's in my house by the way, we are cool peeps by only being social on msn being 2 metres away from eachother.
ok brb.
ok back. my dogs are crazzayyy.

im watching dr phil btw god i swear he talks shit and has no idea what he's talking about. he's so retarted and judgemental.. yet im really digging this show. ok back to the story. after the movies we all went and sat outside of fonzies on a nice table and basked in eachothers company in the warm nightly breeze. hahah. this is where the fun begins. ceri, firstly i just want to say i accept you as you are. straight or gay i love you either way, theres a little rhyme to make you feel better hahaha. nah we're just joking. mady and i and ely aswell, constantly refer to ceri as a lesbian on account of the fact that her parents constantly ask her if she is one and its just so funny. plus she reacts really funny and says things like 'breast friends' instead of 'best friends' and its the funniest thing. like my stomach was cramping from laughing so hard at her last night. she deep down thinks we really do think shes a lesbian, but we dont cez, just to put it out there though: i wouldnt care one bit if you were hahah. 'dad, this is britney' 'britney, dad' hahaha.
anyway then we cruised around for a while, went to stefans, wasnt home. went to judds, wasnt home (but chatted with his mum and sis anyway, nice job in bio judd. you're a champ) we then realised how little amount of friends we have to visit. hahah quite sad. i am the boy that sets your girl on fire and when she dances oh she knows its right. Any way, we go to KFC to get some chips to share between 3 of us, and they are closed, and theres two guys sitting out on the steps so as we leave we beep and just be gay. anyway... try to get out of there through the car wash way,.. end up looking like dickheads cause we get stuck and i have to reverse out hahaha. coooool as. drop mads home after going up to monument and realising there are people there gay so we just go back down, the view driving down was nice. actually that was BEFORE kfc, ohwell. order is not important. So me and ceri come home and theres this spider in my laundry/tiled part. u wont get where it is if u dont know my house but anyway, it was massive and round so i go and get a shoe and by this time my mother and brother have awoken and come to see whats so exciting and mum has fly spray, so she sprays it AND.. like hundreds of baby spiders come from the big spider and they're like crawling everywhere in the toilet (where the spider had now made its way) it was sooooo gross. and then the big spider was not round anymore it was skinny! so the babys were all on its bad! ewww it was just so gross, but mum killed them all and we all went to bed and i had to vacuum them up this morn. this fair morn. after that incident, i was feeling a bit sick and tired and had a headache and just wanted to read, and ive kind of started reading new moon again so i have to feel of the book again before the movie. so i gave cez the laptop to keep her occupied and started to read. i didnt think she'd mind my being anti-social, but apparently according to her blog it bothered her, but re-fell in love with edward (from the BOOK not the MOVIE) again last night, seriously, maybe i was just feeling romantic but i was seriously digging his sweet shit last night. but ceri distracted me from that by introducing me to this starsign site that seriously has the most info of any site ive been on before and it was pretty good like, the traits were close to home. me and cez liked this paragraph:

"Your Gemini woman will never take a train when she can fly. She'll never be silent when she can speak. She'll never turn away when she can help. And she'll never walk when she can run. Her mind is full of so many thoughts and her heart is full of so many hopes, she may seem to need a computer to sort it all out. Or does she just need someone who can run beside her and toss dreams with her-from here to tomorrow? If you're that man, she doesn't dare look over her shoulder to see if you're near. Some deep, unexplained fear within her keeps her from ever looking back. When you finally match her speed, get her to slow down to your pace. You can do it, if you hold her hand tightly and never let it go. Though Mercurial north winds drive her on, secretly she may long to rest awhile more than you know. Do hurry and try to reach her. She needs you."
yeah, i am very romancy this week. okkkk i think i might wrap this up, its too long that most of you will like never read this :( waaaa. ceri's playing music i dont want to hear. fucking bitch.

but i love her so i dedicate this pic to show my support:

love u breast friend . xoxo

breaking news

MATHS IS FINALLY OVEEERR :)

the afternoon'S of extravagent delight.