i have a thing...

...for drug books atm. hahah. the idea of a drug habit is like kind of romantic to me. thats reaaaally weird i know. and some people might read this and think thats sick. but im not saying its appealing to me, to become a drug addict. but there's something poetic about feeling you need something so much to live, even if you know its going to kill you? if that makes sense. im not trying to be deep or cryptic. it makes heaps of sense in my head, but i also realize that it probably seems poetic to me because the two recent books ive read, well the most recent one and the one im currently reading, are as much as they are disturbing and tragic, really intrigueing. the drug addicts seem to be some kind of different human, not higher or lower, just on a different level of need. duno where im going with this, its not even what i wanted to be bloggin about mon. slappa da bass mon. yes, what i wanted to blog about was actuaaaally, me being anti-social at random times. it annoys me but ive got a theory about it :) its probs a theory thats already been discovered it. but this is my observation; children who are are smothered or not even smothered, but just kind of always around people, parents mostly; will crave time alone. and the other way around; children who are left alone too much or parents are kind of absense will crave company. ok now that i type it out. this seems kind of obvious. moral of the story- i think my upbringing of always being around my mum and kind of never having time alone, has made me really need to be alone sometimes. or maybe im just like every other normal person who needs to be with their own thoughts sometimes. i duno, sometimes it seems more than that. and im sorry to my friends who think i just dont want to hang out with them, its not that, i love hanging out with you guys, but sometimes i love being alone more hahah. and then the next day i cant stand being alone. i dont get myself. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. cue emo muzak. these are the two junkie books i refer to: